Prima Materia
The first ingredient, giving form to the formless.

About Me

Varia

 

Welcome to Prima Materia! This is the blog attached to my personal website, varia.wtf. After many years of feeling discontent with social media, I decided to make a website where I can express myself and share my thoughts without an algorithm feeding me garbage.

Hobbies & Interests: figure collecting, drawing, writing, cooking, film, alchemy, gnosticism.

Favorite Lore: Girls' Frontline, Xenogears/Xenosaga, Remedy (Max Payne, Alan Wake I & II, Control).

Current Project: Kuleshov Effect (WIP) - Story/VN

I'll be posting updates on my writing and art along with posts about my interests. Feel free to contact me about anything you read on here.

breakcore mix to write mentally insane stories to

Details
Category: Project Updates
Published: 28 February 2025
Hits: 61
  • Kuleshov Effect
  • breakcore

Today I spent a lot of time at work thinking about the story. In yesterday's post, I wrote about the general theme and influences but after going to bed I realized I wasn't satisfied with the beginning of the story. When I thought about starting it with a terminally ill man, I was trying to avoid writing about the human Amagi used to be. As soon as I got home, I made an outline for a new prologue.This version is about a pair of war orphans who end up being experimented on. I wanted to take advantage of turning back the clock to hint at how android technology is developed. 

The prologue begins with subjects 08 and 09 who are living in a medical facility with other war orphans. The orphans are given shots of a substance and examined regularly. In general, they appear to be in good care until one day an orphan goes missing. The children's caretakers turn a blind eye and ignore the subject. 08 and 09 decide to look for the missing child. I think this prologue is a step in the right direction. I think I'm still unsure of how androids are made in this world, so that might be the next thing I work on. Additionally, I've rewritten a bit of the story after the prologue as well. It's a bit more solid and have added new characters.

One of the new characters is Rita, and I imagine her having twin tails and being on the short side.She's the kind of person who shoots first and asks things later. I think I'll have a fun time writing her character. I've also have the concept for the antagonist and I think it's pretty decent. It definitely changes some of the ideas I've introduced in yesterday's post, but I think it works a lot better. I apologize for being vague but if I went into depth, I'd be writing here all night.

On a side note, I've been listening to breakcore tonight as I write. It's really good and I think some of the music fits the vibe I'm going for. 

The music can feel very ethereal, as if you're just wandering your subconscious or something. I hope you enjoy the music, I actually spent 30 minutes wondering why videos wouldn't embed into my post. It turns out Joomla has this weird text filtering thing on in two different places and I had to disable just enough to get videos to work on here. 

First Post and Writing Project!

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Category: Project Updates
Published: 27 February 2025
Hits: 52
  • Kuleshov Effect

WAHOO! 

I actually can't believe that I've finally gotten around to creating this website/blog. I've been wanting to make it for a while now and finally downloaded Visual Studio to practice HTML/CSS/JS. Honestly, the progress has been slow since I have too many interests and so little time.

For now, I think my "About Me" does a decent job of introducing myself at a glance. I'm honestly pretty excited and wish I didn't have to go to work tomorrow so I could work on my website all night, LOL. Honestly, though ... it feels a bit liberating to have my own section of the internet. The main reason I decided to start a website is because there's no online platform that satisfies me. Not just in terms of content management, but I don't like thinking of engagement or analytics. Not to mention some of the algorithms are pure rage bait. I don't need that kind of stuff in my life.

The main hurdle I see is in keeping up with projects I'm interested in. There's a few indie creators who's stuff I really enjoy, but they only have a twitter. My thought is to create a page with a feed for those specific accounts that I want to keep following, but I haven't thought of it too hard yet. 

And that's my issue with platforms on the internet. It doesn't feel like the World Wide Web anymore. It's just YouTube, Twitter, Instagram, Tiktok, etc. and the occasional shopping page in between all the ads we're forced to watch. What inspired this project was a website called Nekoweb, it's a hosting service for people who are passionate for the old internet. It features A LOT of creative websites that I want to take inspiration from when I'm working on my own. So many talented people are hosted on there and I recommend taking a look if you're bored or have the time to spare. 

Kuleshov Effect

Kuleshov Effect is the working title for my new story. Last time I attempted to write a story was about 8 years ago. I didn't know how to end it, so I rushed and killed the main character off and never worked on it again. I wouldn't say that my writing skills have gotten any better since then, but I think I've been more aware of patterns in storytelling that it can help me navigate through some of the harder parts of the writing process. 

I haven't told anyone about what my story is about until now, mainly because my blog is probably the best space for it since I'm not limited by word count. 

Kuleshov Effect (name subject to change) is about a man who is given an artificial human body when he's faced with a terminal illness. It is set about 100 years from now (2120), during an ongoing worldwide conflict. Thanks to the advancement of technology and the discovery of a new substance called Prima Materia, capable combat androids have mostly replaced humans to keep casualties to a minimum.

Expecting to die, the ill man volunteers to donate his body for research. On the day of his expected death, he's not only surprised to find himself alive, but completely free of his ailment. However, he quickly realizes that much of him feels different. When he looks at himself in the mirror, he sees the reflection of a gynoid, a female-looking android. 

The description above is the tip of the iceberg. A lot the inspiration for the story comes from alchemy and the works of Carl Jung. Currently, I'm reading Man and His Symbols as an introduction to his work. Jung took an approach to psychology that left a lasting impact in the field. However, I think a lot of that also had to do with his research into alchemy as a metaphor for self-enlightenment. It's really a deep rabbit hole if you ever want to look into it. 

Crowned Hermaphrodite
The Rebis, or Divine Hermaphrodite, is the magnum opus of alchemy. It represents the union of opposites into a single being. 

The Rebis (see above), is the main inspiration for the story I am writing. For many, I think it's common to hear that the goal of alchemy is to turn lead into gold. However, Jung believes that people were doing alchemy as a representation of the journey to becoming a "whole" person. Imagine it as a giant LARP session that spanned centuries with people acting out how to go about self-actualizing through interpretive science. That's my best way to describe it, even though it sounds very lame when I put it like that. 

In my story, these alchemic processes are real, but also borrow heavily from Gnosticism and Jewish mysticism along with certain aspects of Catholicism. The man, also known as Amagi, realizes that body psyche has been fractured in many ways. The archetypes of Anima/Animus which Jung describes as an inner, unconscious counterpart to ourselves, play a role here as well. Amagi, now in an (artificial) female body, is struggling with his identity. He begins to doubt if the memories he has from his human life are even real. At the same time, however, this lost inner counterpart of his, where is it? Has it taken over his being? 

As mentioned in the caption for The Rebis, the ultimate goal of alchemy was to create the union of opposites. The Rebis can also be subsituted for the fabled Philosopher's Stone or any example of complete wholeness, divinity, and ... Jesus Christ? 

I'm not really religious, but I highly respect religious texts from a historical and analytical lens. Whether or not you believe a guy named Yeshua was walking around the middle east 2000 years ago is up to each individual. However, I think having this person as a figure, as a guide or prime example of enlightenment is really cool. Christ surpassed death, not only because of God, but because he devoted his life to being this perfect being, a teacher, and left by taking on the weight and responsibility for humanity's sins. There's a lot of analyze there and it's getting late so I REALLY wanna wrap up, but alchemy in a roundabout way was describing that process. At least, that's what I understand from Carl Jung. 

The process of taking the prima materia, the first ingredient to make the philosopher's stone, and turning it into this seemingly unattainable thing is an ongoing process of breaking down unwanted materials (lead, rocks, whatever) and refining them into something desirable (gold, fountain of youth, etc). The constant references to the different aspects of the self, the union of opposites, it's all REALLY overwhelming. The message of both Christ's ascension and alchemy could be boiled down to the goal of self-acceptance and self-actualizing (being the best version of YOU) through the laborous ongoing process of breaking down what's not working in your life and rebuilding it. 

However, Amagi won't be going to therapy or reading self-help books. No, Amagi will actually encounter a philosopher stone that was made with millions of dead bodies and fused along with it trigger the second coming of Jesus Christ.

LOL what a first post

VN Character Concept: Azuma Muramasa

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Category: Project Updates
Published: 10 May 2025
Hits: 17
  • Kuleshov Effect
  • art

Lately, I've been thinking about mentor characters, like Mr. Miyagi from The Karate Kid, for example. I still haven't sat down to think what the major theme of the visual novel will be, so I decided to work on a concept for a supporting character that I think would be neat. 

This character is named Azuma Muramasa and I'm being very shameless about my inspirations for her. 

Beyond sharing her last name with a demon sword of legend, she's Amagi's former sword-fighting instructor. My visual novel is set in a similar world to ours, but 100 years from now. Projectile-based combat is the norm since guns are prevalent. Many androids can instantly learn combat skills through uploaded combat data and running simulations. However, there are some skills that cannot be learned because they have not been documented or they do not seem practical for combat or any other data that would be deemed useful for androids to learn. 

Azuma originally married into a family that had a long-standing tradition of passing their swordsmanship style down each generation. Her husband was to inherit the title of "master" of his family's swordsmanship school, but he passed away before that was able to happen. 

Traditionally, the title of "master" would be handed down to the oldest son of the previous master. Azuma's late husband was an only child and since the young couple did not have children of their own at the time of his dead, there was no successor available that would honor the tradition. 

Azuma, wanting to honor her late husband, asked her father in-law if she could inherit the title instead. Her father in-law was hesitant, but agreed under the condition that she undergo the same training her husband had done. Her husband began to train when he was small boy until his early adulthood when he passed away. Azuma's training was condensed into 5 long years. 

Much of her grief became apparent as she trained under her father in-law. She would strike violently with no regards to life whatsoever, as if she was taking out her grief onto the world. Her father in-law nicknamed her "Muramasa" because of the similarities she shared with the folktale that described the qualities of the Muramasa and Masamune blades. The most important lesson that Azuma learned from her father in-law was how to repurpose negative emotions into strength. 

Eventually Azuma's father in-law passed away. With no heirs, the bloodline had come to an end. Azuma chose to wander the world and find a new purpose in life. 

Her travels took her to North America, where she visited a country that was on the brink of civil war. It was here where she met Amagi, about 10 years prior to the beginning of the Visual Novel's story. Believing her to be a war orphan, Azuma gave Amagi the name she would use for the rest of her life. Amagi did not have the typical traits of a girl her age. It felt as if she was completely devoid of the curiosity and emotions that come with being human. 

Azuma was a great help in allowing Amagi to establish her own pysche. After that, the girl began to open up more and was curious about the sheath that Azuma carried on her person. Azuma would begin to train Amagi in the style that she inherited for a little while, then leave to wander, and then come back and check on Amagi a few years later. She repeated this several times until the girl was grown up and left the orphanage. Azuma believes that if her pupil ever needs her, then their paths will eventually cross. 

--

I think that's most of the backstory I could come up for now. In terms of style, Azuma is very classy. I sketched her with a corset and a jacket. There's a character in Azur Lane that has the same name I really like that outfit, but I wanted something a little more modern. Less noblewoman and more aristocrat turned wandering ronin. 

What kind of person is Azuma? Within the story, she's at peace with who she is and what happened to her husband. At this point, her husband has been dead for over 15 years and she's been wandering the world for 10 of those. She's definitely a "world warrior" type of person. Like, if Amagi would video call her, Azuma would be in a different country every time. 

As an instructor, she's a bit relentless. She's easygoing with the people she meets, but when it comes to Amagi's training she's a real hardass. It's partly because this style of swordsmanship is very important to her. It's the only "memento" she has of her husband and it's natural that she wants to protect it. For Azuma, Amagi better learn her style perfectly or else it's not worth doing at all. In fact, anything less than perfect is a disgrace and an insult to her late husband, which she will take offense to. 

An idea I just had ... since the story has to do with humanity, alchemy, and stuff, it'd be cool if her husband's soul was actually inside the sword or something, so she didn't have to lose him completely. I guess that kind of lessens the impact of everything that comes after, though. 

Maybe something to keep in mind?

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